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Well a Turkish Wedding what to expect ????
Now that is a good question and if you have not been to one before, well keep your mind open and expect something completely different. And if you dont know the traditional dances i suggest you learn quick otherwise you will be stood there like a muppet watching or trying to figure it out.
Now my wedding was far from what i invisaged as a young girl, infact nothing like it at all, thats not to say however it wasnt one of the best days of my life. Would i change anything if i could do it again?? Yes there are a few things i would change but i loved my wedding and would love to do it all over again.
So a Turkish wedding is a BIG thing for the Turkish and always want to out better others.
Traditionally as the female family they usually have over the years collected and bought items for the big day. A bit like a bottom draw in the UK. Having said that this is to a whole other level. Pretty much everything you need for a whole house to be kitted out would have been bought in preperation for the girls wedding day. White goods, bed linen, crockery, cutlery and a whole lot more. Its never ending. My sister in law has a whole room dedicated to all her bits she has, they will wait til she marries to buy the white goods.
I always thought Turks werent organised, cause i have not yet found anywhere else where they are 😁
Normally they have a hena night (Kına gecesi) I choose not to have one, cause at the time i didn't want my hands ruined and looking like ive had play date with kids and stained hands. I mean come on i was about to get married and wanted my wedding ring to look nice right?
As the Turkish dont make nice patterns like some cultures it is literally slap it on and way you go.
Now ive not been to a hena night either so can not comment much on it other than seeing my in laws hands after having been to a hena party. Looking back on it now its ones of those wish i had moments but at the same time glad i hadnt cause i had no knowledge of a henna party and all those people watching for the yabanci to mess up and all eyes on me.
My husband at the time was still doing his national service so could do no prep organising in Turkey whilst i remained in UK working. So any prep work i could do in the UK i did. I bought my dress, my mum and I made our bridesmaids dresses and flowers and made ties to match for the men in the family. I even bought my husband a nice suit in the Burtons sale.
Now its been 10 years since i got married so paperwork back then was just getting my bands and birth certificate done. Then rest sorted in Turkey.
So i was on my flight to Turkey bags packed to the brim and my man would be waiting at the airport for me. We went back to his family home and that was it all in full wedding mode we had a week to plan and my family would start arriving to. I was a bag of nerves, not seen my man for a few months, wedding not organised at all and all eyes would be on me.
Now my in laws know no boundries at all so i arrived and was whisked off by my mother in law to be and 2 sisters and my bags were unpacked and all was examined as though it all needed approval, back then my Turkish was non exsistant so no idea if they approved or not but it was my wedding so I didnt much care.
I then got told to put my wedding dress on so that they could see which i did then they called my husband in to see. At 1st i was angry cause in UK its bad luck. But the look on my mans face when he saw me in my dress told me all i needed to know and put any fears and doubts away.
So day 2 was all about paperwork we got up early to head to izmir early to get all sorted in a day. Well looking back i can laugh about it but at the time this day was a nightmare, we got stopped at the toll bridge cause our hire car was deemed stolen so we had to wait a few hours in the heat whilst the hire car company arrived and put it all right for us. They forgot to inform them it had been recovered. So we finally arrive in Izmir at lunch time so all was shut for lunch.
So once they reopened their doors we were there waiting. We had to visit about 3 different offices each at different ends of the city and had to visit each a couple of times. Due to lack of time we ended up having to stay the night just for one signiture cause we didnt get there in time. Nothing in Turkey can ever be easy and simple. 😞
So now to organise the man to marry us. Well we had planned and booked hall in the Village for the Saturday but there was no one free to come out and marry us so had to go to local town on the Wednesday to do the paperwork and get married. Luckily my family had already arrived so they all got a dolmus for a hour journey to the town to watch us sign.
That was an experience in itself the women looked like she had just stepped of the scene of hocus pocus and had a cackle to match. My sister and I got the giggles as she was just hilarious amd laughed our way through the ceremony.
After the signing we all went to our favourite restaurant for dinner then onto the local market to get all the last bits and bobs. Like the basket of fake flowers that dont match the ones i made for me and the bridesmaids. The red band you are to wear around your waist which at the time I was not happy about why was i not told about this i mean a red band when my theme was Turquoise but i eventually agreed.
So Saturday arrived we all got up early and went to the hairdressers to have our hair and make up done. Well luckily mine was ok as i got my husband to specifically explain how i wanted mine and bridesmaids hair. Make up was a bit to be disired on my eldest bridesmaids my sister ended up doing her own. My sister in law thought was a free for all and got her hair died just to put a headscarf on😣. Then we were all ready in our dresses hair and make up done. Then my husband and a few other cars turned up, all made up with bows and flowers and my husband steps out the car all suited and booted. WOW this handsome man was my husband i couldnt beleive it.
So we all get in the cars and in a convoy drive 20 minutes to the village beeping the whole way with our hazzards on. All and sundry came out to see who was getting married. Oh my, was embarrassing to have that much attetion. So we arrive at the house and all the guests were there awaiting our arrival and taking pictures we then sat down for a feast fit for a king that my in laws had spent ages preparing literally by the bucket load for all the visitors. As it is in Turkey you invite everyone and even if they werent invited if they know about it and fancy it they just turn up anyway.
I didnt think about the fact at some point i may need to use the toilet and they dont have an English toilet and neither does the saloon we were going to have the party at. I had to get my mum to help me and hold my dress whilst i struggled to do the deed. When i came back down then my husband organised a walk to brothers house for all my English guests to use the English toilet he had. Well thank you darling, could have thought about that before 😁😂
The guests came and went and was a beautiful day. So our evening party was due to start at 7 so we waited til 7.30 to head down in convoy driving a long winded route to beep and let everyone know we were on our way. Well got there and no one had arrived yet apart from us as it was still too light so i had to wait in what i can inly describe as a storage cupboard until i could enter, i lost track of how long i was actually in there for.
So the party began with our wedding rings being exchanged they are both attached to a piece of red ribbon and then a respected member of family cuts the ribbon.
Im so glad that my husband in the past had taken me to many weddings so i knew what to expect and how to do the halay dance which we spent most the night doing. The indoor fireworks which are so close your worried you may go up in flames with your dress, and then at the end of the night they all line up to give you money or gold if family.
End of the night we and our English guests drpve back to the tourist town we were staying at and went clubbing and yes I was still in my wedding dress 😁
(Please note my views are based on what i have witnessed and not to say their arent other traditions and differences)